The Tooter with Green Socks

Well this is it! I go in to be induced tomorrow morning around 6am (yes, like 7 hours from now!). Jadon is staying with his Gramma and Grandpa tonight, and before we left their house, I decided I'd take just one more pic of us as a family of three. (P.S. I'm HUGE! But then again, I am like 14 months pregnant!)

After we finally got Jadon to hold still for one picture, he realized he could hear his echo in Gramma's sitting room (the ceiling is like 20 ft. high in there). It totally cracked him up, so much that he laughed until he farted(???), not once, but twice (hahahahahahahahaha). Oh my goodness! This kid is a nut! I promise, he is not normally quite this energetic, and definitely not at home, but it did make me consider again, "Are we really ready for this...to have two kids under the age of two in our home?" We MUST be crazy! (p.s. you'll hear the first "toot" about 30 seconds in and the other very close to the end)

We will do our best to upload pics of Macy to her blog from the hospital. It may not be until Thursday, if we can't get a connection. Prayers appreciated (safe, healthy, no C-section necessary, etc.). Mommy is pretty anxious about being induced :/

The Holiest of Callings

It doesn't appear that Macy Bleu will arrive, before our scheduled induction on February 4th, unfortunately :/ As Jamie says, "Well, Jadon, it looks like you have one and a half days with us all to yourself." I suppose that puts my heart and mind into a place of reflection on being the mommy of one, and the unknown of being a mommy of two. I am so thankful for this devotional that I came across recently. I could not have written it better myself...

What Motherhood Really Means

Condensed from "Everyday Miracles"
Dale Hanson Bourke

Time is running out for my friend. While we are sitting at
lunch, she casually mentions that she and her husband
are thinking of "starting a family." What she means is
that her biological clock has begun its countdown and
she is being forced to consider the prospect of motherhood.

"We’re taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do
you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say carefully, keeping my
tone neutral.

"I know,' she says. "No more sleeping in on Saturdays,
no more spontaneous vacations..."

But that is not what I mean at all. I try to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in child birth
classes: that the physical wounds of childbearing heal,
but that becoming a mother will leave an emotional wound so
raw that she will be forever vulnerable. I consider warning
her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking,
"What if that had been my child?" That every plane crash,
every fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of
starving children, she will wonder if anything could be
worse than watching your child die.

I look at her manicured nails and stylish suit and think
that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother
will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting
her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop
her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has
invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by
motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she
will be going into an important business meeting, and she will
think about her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every
ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure
her child is all right.

I want my friend to know that everyday decisions will no longer
be routine. That a five-year-old boy’s desire to use the men’s room
rather than the women’s at a restaurant will become a major dilemma.
That issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed
against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in the
rest room. However decisive she may be at the office, she will
second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that
eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will
never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important,
will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would
give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin
to hope for more years--not to accomplish her own dreams, but to
watch her child accomplish his.

My friend’s relationship with her husband will change, but not in
the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you
can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who never
hesitates to play with his son or daughter. I think she should know
that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she
would now find very unromantic.

I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your
child learn to hit a baseball. I want to capture for her the belly
laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first
time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.

My friend’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed
in my eyes. "You’ll never regret it," I say finally. Then,
squeezing my friend’s hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all of
the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this holiest of callings.

One More Time

I tell you, the anticipation of a new baby's arrival will drive expecting parents crazy! We've been doing our best to stay busy (and keep walking) everyday to try to keep ourselves from focusing solely on Macy's pending arrival. Today was a beautiful day! It was 65* when we woke up at 8am and we ended up with a high of 73*, so we decided to take Jadon to the playground and to Barnes and Noble (to play with Thomas the Train). Unfortunately, the walking did nothing to bring on any contractions (nor did going down the twisty slide...kidding, of course), but we did have a great day outside in the sunshine :)

First we stopped at Chick-fil-A to grab some breakfast...Jadon was obsessed with saying "Orange? Juice?": The slide and Thomas the Train were fun, but his favorite part of the day was getting a piggy back ride from Daddy :)
He LOVES his daddy! I'm pretty thankful for him too, since I'm not really in any condition to give Jadon a piggy back ride...then, again, maybe I should have.

Four more days...almost 3??? C'mon, Macy!

Before I Knew It

Maybe you've seen this commercial from State Farm:

If you're a parent, you know how true this is. I cannot believe Jadon will be 20 months old tomorrow, and by tomorrow morning (Please, Lord, PLEASE!!!), I could be a mommy of TWO under the age of Two. I mean, I honestly asked Jamie today if he realizes that Jadon is going to be two years old in just four months :( We seriously can't believe it.

As I have mentioned before (maybe on Macy's blog), I have tried not to allow myself to think too much about my time with Jadon as my only baby coming to an end. The last few weeks, I have struggled on a daily basis not to go to that place mentally. Sometimes he has been sitting on my lap, others he has been impatiently waiting for me to make him his lunch, while other times he has been snuggled next to me in our bed with his Elmo doll under his arm. No matter where it has been or what he has been doing, I stop and stare at him and think back over the last 20 months and how much I have LOVED every second of being his mommy. I have been focused soley on him, his development, his wants and needs being met, playing with him, cooking for him, exposing him to every experience I can think that will help him grow to be a more well-rounded little boy.

I wonder how much all of that will change, once Macy arrives. I so want to be able to give each of them the undivided attention they deserve, yet I am not naive to think that it will happen too often. I understand and appreciate that they will be siblings and also love times we share together as a family of four.

It's funny because, when we picked Jadon up at the church nursery this week, the volunteers all told me that Jadon was just not himself. They said all of a sudden, he stood very still, put his head down, and then only wanted to sit on their laps in the rocking chair (this is SOOO NOT Jadon). I had no idea what was wrong. I mean, honestly, he didn't seem sick to me, and by the time we got to the car, he was acting exactly like himself, wanting his sippy cup of milk and jabbering away.

Then tonight at Target, I got to see for myself what they must have witnessed on Sunday. We were standing in the toy aisle, and everything was fine. Jadon was pushing all of the buttons on the big toy cars that he could reach, making more noise than you can imagine, and then it happened...a little girl came into the aisle. She was about 3-4 years old, and she said, "Awe, he is so cute!" Jadon froze. I mean, he completely froze. He wouldn't even look at ME! Then he put his head down and wouldn't look up! He looked so bashful and sad at the same time. And it hit me, yet again, that having a new baby in the house will surely change so many things for Jadon. And it really makes me kind of sad :(

I know, I know...and don't get me wrong. We all have to deal with changes in life. We all have to learn to adjust. It's just a healthy thing to learn to cope with. Life is unpredictable, and having a new sibling is a great thing. I guess I somewhat fear the unknown of it all though. How MUCH will this change Jadon and his personality? How many of the changes will be permanent? Will he start wanting to avoid some of the things he loves doing now? Will he want to isolate himself a little bit more? (I know it could be a good thing that he will learn to occupy more of his own time because I am only human and cannot always give each of my babies everything they need at the same time.) Will he be a little bit jealous or a lotta bit jealous? Will he be mad at me, when I'm feeding Macy, changing her diaper, or giving her a bath? Will I be able to make him feel included all or at least most of the time with these things?

I'm sure some of you are thinking that I'm over-thinking this, that things will work out just fine, and I'm very hopeful they will...really certain they will in the long run especially. I just want Jadon to know how much I have loved and enjoyed every minute of him being my only baby, and now I'm ready to see him in the new role God has chosen for him at this stage of his life.

With that said, Jadon, I wanted to tell you (in no particular order) the things that come to mind that I have shared with you over the last 20 months:

---nursing you to sleep
---watching you sniff things for the first time (like soap in Kroger)
---taking you to the beach
---the first time you sat up, crawled, stood by yourself, and took your first steps
---hearing you say "Momma" for the first time
---seeing you do the sign for "milk" when you were still breastfeeding; you used to do it first thing, when you rolled over in the morning, and now you say "eat" when you wake up
---you knew all of your colors, animal sounds and body parts at 17 months
---you knew all of your shapes, some of your numbers and a few letters at 19 months
---you know signs that 99% of adults don't know, like "school" and "salon" and "bank"
---you can help us read several of your books, by finishing sentences on each page
---you love the songs "Head, shoulders, knees and toes" and "Bringing home my baby bumble bee"
---you would rather throw mulch in the air at the playground than anything else
---you have no fear of going down slides by yourself, and you would push your bubble mower around the yard for 5 hours straight, if we would let you
---your memory is impeccable! I can tell you something one time, and you remember what it is called a week later
---you love playing with flashcards as much as you like playing with cars and blocks
---you started potty training at 14 months, and you only used two diapers today...it would have only been one, but we had to go to Target, and you have no experience with big people potties yet
---you are sweet and kind to other babies and kids, always wanting to share and help
---the volunteers at the church nursery call you "everyone's favorite baby"
---we have been stopped by complete strangers who wanted to take your picture and our midwife constantly tells us that you should be a Baby Gap model (shallow stuff, but makes a mommy feel good that others see how cute you are too)
---you're a friendly little boy, always waving at cashiers and people in restaurants
---you giggle like crazy, when Daddy tickles you with the stubble on his face (and I hear you giggling from the bedroom with him right now) :)
---you have loved trucks and cars and dirt, since you could crawl!
---you have no interest in Mr. Potato Head at this point
---you are a whiz at puzzles and shape sorters
---you and I used to take a walk together every morning this past spring, summer and fall (then mommy got extra lazy and pregnant)
---you LOVE fruits and most veggies; I honestly think you would be happy as a lark to be a vegetarian
---you are good at holding our hands, when we are out in public now, and you don't try to run away (not yet anyway)
---you used to cry, when you were told "no" or put in time out, now you put yourself in time out and tell me "no" "easy" and "sodda" (sorry), while you're sitting there
---you have the most beautiful, long eyelashes and golden brown eyes mommy has ever seen
---you now wave bye to us, when we drop you off at the church nursery; one week, you even rolled by Daddy twice, pushing a toy, before he had to call you to come on
---you used to pull out the kitchen chairs, climb up and point to the center piece on the table and say "fladas" (flowers) on an hourly basis (thank goodness that has almost completely stopped)
---you get mad, if mommy has your blanket and pillow and it is time for you to watch a video. Even though you don't always sit on it, you have to have it in the floor.
---this morning I asked you if you had to poop, and you ran around to the front of the couch and said "yeah" and took off for the potty..."I deed it!" :)
---you are obsessed with Ziggy, Grandpa, and "Gee"; you wake up and go to bed most days and nights saying their names, and you always think we're going to their house everytime we get in the car
---you need someone to validate the things you are saying most of the time (i.e. you will repeat the word "purple" 20 times, until someone says "purple...very good!")
---the other morning, you were sitting in the floor looking at a book, and you would ask yourself "What's dat?" Then you would answer yourself (i.e. "Circle). Then you would praise yourself, "Very good!"
---you like to play teacher now. You will have a person (i.e. Grandpa) repeat an item, after you say it (i.e. Green bean?), and when he says the correct thing, you say, "Very good," and move onto the next item :) SOOOO cute!

There are just a bagillion things I could write that I have loved seeing you do over the last 20 months, Jadon. Mommy cannot thank God enough for all of the blessings He delivered in the tiny, little package that is uniquely you. You have brought a joy to my life that I can never imagine living without. I pray you always know how loved you are and how much I appreciate each smile, hug, and new experience you bring to every new day for me (and daddy too). We love you, baby boy...and honestly, you will ALWAYS be mommy's baby...always! Muah!

"See You When I'm Two!"

Yesterday Jadon had his last shot (Hep A) until he turns four. Unless he gets sick, he doesn't even have to go back to the doctor until he turns two. We made it! Afterwards, we took him to the mall to play in the arcade for a while and have lunch at Chick-fil-A. The REAL reason to head to the mall was because it was raining, and I'm desperate to walk Macy outta this belly! No such luck, but we did have a good time spending the day out together :) Wish I had more updates to give, but nada :/ I do have a doctor's appt. on Friday. Let's hope that appointment really isn't necessary, since Macy will already be here??? :)