See

Last night Jamie and I were blessed to serve as volunteers for Compassion International (and help get hundreds of children sponsored!) at a Steven Curtis Chapman and Michael W. Smith concert @ Beach Church. I have to say that of the many Christian CDs we own, we do not have one of either of theirs. They are artists who have been in the industry for 20+ years, music veterans...icons, if you will. Jamie and I, for whatever reason, sort of viewed them as old school, in our tastes, though I do know many of their songs from listening to KLOVE, and they have so many beautiful lyrics.

Anyway, I have no idea why I passed the opportunity to blog about the tragedy that occurred in Steven Curtis Chapman's life back in May 2008, but I did (likely because of Jadon's b-day, etc.). Rather than write about it, I thought it would be better for you to see/hear the family in their own words (and I know it is 9 minutes long, but I ask that you PLEASE watch the entire interview...PRETTY PLEASE):


Of course, as a mom, as Steven told the story last night, I cried my eyes out. I knew I would, even before I went to the concert. I remember crying, as soon as I read about the story back in May. I cried and prayed for their entire family, and especially their son Will. I cannot imagine the blame and guilt he must have felt...and must still struggle with many days. Can you imagine dealing with that at the young age of 17?

There was comfort and hope, when Steven thanked each person last night who had prayed for his family, as I knew I had been one of likely millions who had. It broke my heart that it has still only been five months of grieving for them, but made me feel like part of something so much bigger to know that, as believers, we had come together to lift that family up in prayer. And as I woke up this morning, still thanking God for the experience, the question came to my mind, "Could Will see it that he had been used by God to bring Maria home to Him...not that he had caused the accident, but he had been used by God?"

If you are not a person of faith, you may think that is a crazy way to look at this situation. Maybe if you are a Christian, you might even think that is not the way you would see things either. But after hearing Steven's testimony last night, and after watching the following clip, this is how God has spoken to me (this one is only a mere two minutes...PLEASE stick with me here):

So as you all know, I have an amazing 16 month old little boy who appeared on an ultrasound screen before me (a full 8 weeks and 3 days into his existence), only 10 short weeks after my fifth miscarriage. It was the first heartbeat, other than my own, that I had ever seen inside of me. And now I am six months pregnant again, after seeing a (+) sign on a stick, only 15 minutes before his first birthday. I had NO idea that Jamie and I would ever have biological children. I didn't think I would ever feel a baby kick inside my belly, and now I do on a daily basis, pregnant with my second child...a daughter who will be named Macy Bleu (see, it was worth sticking with me, just so you could find out her name :))

The point is that we just don't know what trials or even joys will come in our lives. We truly have no idea what the future holds, but I know WHO holds my future. He is the Creator of ALL things. He is the Healer of the broken and sick. He supplies strength to the weak. He gives hope to the hopeless. His life is matchless. His goodness is limitless. His mercy is everlasting. His love never changes. His Word is enough. His grace is sufficient. His reign is righteous. And His yoke is easy. And His burden is light. He is my Savior, Redeemer, Best Friend...the Giver of my life in Eternity and also the of life that is within me, as I type these words. I desire Him to be at the center of my life and my marriage. My greatest desire as a parent is for my children to know and love Him with all that they have. I want to see with His eyes, hear with His ears, and speak the gentleness of His truth.

Am I a failure at many things He desires for my life? Absolutely...big time, on many days. Is our marriage a mess sometimes? Uh, yeah, we have a toddler, remember? That can make things a little stressful at times. Will our children fail? Bet on it! Will we screw up as parents? Sadly, I have to accept we will many, many times. But I cannot focus on those things...I can only learn from them. It is my prayer and greatest hope that Jamie and I can continue down this journey of life together with Jesus as the center of all that we do...striving to be love Him and be more obedient to his Word than we were the hour before...making each day count, as we know we are not guaranteed tomorrow..."cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight."

It has been a beautiful and joyous journey to be called Mrs. Jamie Salamanca for the last FIVE YEARS, James. I am so blessed to have you in my life, as my husband and best friend, father of our babies, and spiritual leader of our household. You are my biggest cheerleader and so much more. Most days you do pay attention ;) and you know me better than anyone else...and somehow you still love me???

Do you remember the little note I placed in the prayer box I gave you for our wedding? I said, "Lord, I ask you this day to bless our marriage. Bless us with many years, happy days, and lots of brown babies. We give our marriage to you, and thank you for each other. May we continue to grow in You. Amen."

I surely know we will face things as parents and as husband and wife that we cannot imagine, both great trials and great joys (like the birth of our daughter Macy Bleu!). I'm thankful that you too know WHO holds that future, and you do your best to live a life that is centered around that faith. I pray we will always "SEE" what is most important in life, as we continue down this journey of life together. I love you! Happy Anniversary!

Coopers Rock, WV --- October 2003