Me, Today

Today begins the 33rd year of my life. There is significance in being this age. My perspective this year is different than others. My Jesus was said to have lived a short 33 years. My uncle Chuck, my mom's older brother, passed away from cancer in our home under the care of Hospice at this, now my age. My mom met and then married my stepdad, Jadon and Macy's grandpa, when she was 33. I think I thought they were old then. Funny how I don't want to think of them as old now. Life has taught me that I will be 53, before I know it.

I realize even more now what a young man my uncle Chuck was, when he left behind his two kids. I get the tears and the struggle to hang on for them, the desire to live and watch them grow. How sad. I get it. I really, really get it. Life is sooo very short. I want my days to have more meaning. What if today were my last day, this year my last year?

Now that I am 33, I realize just how short my Jesus' time on earth was. Clearly I will never have the impact on the world that He had. Clearly I am called to impact the world for Him. What if I only have today? What if I only have this year?

Today begins a new chapter. I want a life lived not for myself, not just for my kids, but a life that will outlive me. I want to be a better wife, a better mama, a better daughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend. Above all else, I want to be a better servant of Christ.

Don't get me wrong. I will likely care for my kids more than I do other peoples' kids. They live in my home. They came from my womb. They are mine. I will likely spend more time with my friends and family than strangers. I will probably buy more things for them than anyone else too.

Let's also not forget the fact that I love to travel. I love Starbucks. I love sushi and Whole Foods Market. I'm also going to be living in a city with a Cheesecake Factory in a few months, okay? ;)

I need not mention how much I love taking pictures again either, right? I'll probably invest in another piece of equipment sometime this, my 33rd year. You'll likely see a thousand or so pictures of MY kids and MY family or MY friends on my website or on here and probably on my Facebook page too.

But here's the real deal---I love Jesus above all else! I want EVERYTHING I do to exude Him. If you see me grabbing a Starbucks, KNOW I am thanking God for His provision, not just financial, but that He gave me a loving, supportive husband to share that with. If I have the ability to travel this year, KNOW that I am marveling at the beauty God has created all around me. I WILL be taking pictures that I pray will proclaim the glory of His Majesty...have you seen the ocean? the mountains? the changing colors of the leaves? the enormous rocks and caves? the endless fields of crops ready for harvesting? In awe!

My goal this year, as I begin the journey of having my own business, is not that it be successful. I have no goal, as far as money I expect or would like to earn. I have no agenda for wedding bookings. I don't ever want to care about the sale of images more than I care about the people in them...and I truly don't. If I don't make another penny this year as a photographer, who cares? I just know God gave me a passion, I get to do it, and I love it!

What matters to me most, this 33rd year of my life, is that I glorify my Savior in all I do. Let me be a better wife because I am thankful for a God-fearing, God-serving husband. Let me be a better mama because He entrusted these sweet blessings into my care. I am called to train them in the way they should go. I am called to impact their lives everyday, so that they may know Jesus as their Lord and Savior and place Him above all else. No small task here!

I vow this year to give, give, give and then give some more. My gift of photography will be used to document those who need a voice and to celebrate the works God is doing in the world, in families, in the lives of those who love Him. I surrender my lens to the Lord, so that He may tell the stories He chooses. I pray I never get in His way.

This year and all others that follow, I vow to "delight myself in the Lord." He promises if I do that, He will give me "the desires of my heart." You are the desire of my heart, Lord. You alone. This year is for you, my Jesus.

Thank you for my husband. Thank you for my babies. Thank you for my passion and gift of snapping images and telling stories. Thank you for my loving, supportive family...the one into which I was born, and the one into which I married. I don't deserve any of it, and will do my best to thank you for it all, in service to You.

I am 33 and counting...33 and making it count.

Psalm 47:2

Jamie was his typical sweet and sneaky self, when he bought me a Bible memory verse book and surprised me with it at Jadon's baby shower (though we didn't know Jadon was a Jadon at the time) ;) I had seen the book at Lifeway and was so excited at the thought of listening to the CD and learning scripture with our sweet baby.

While Jadon loves his books and DVDs about baby Jesus, he just really had no interest in this book. The book is set up great with a short story and an accompanying song to go with each scripture. While we've attempted several times in the past to get him to sit and listen to it, he just never had much interest. It just never clicked, and I didn't want to make it a lesson as much as a fun time together.

The new year called for another attempt, and it's going GREAT! He loves the special time we set aside each evening to go over the verse, listen to the story on CD and sing the song that incorporates the scripture. Throughout the week, Jamie and I will ask him what his memory verse is, and this is what we get:

Right now, we plan to do a new one each week, and review the older verses throughout each day. I have also been teaching Jadon to pray more specifically. Until now, he had mainly prayed a prayer of thanksgiving. "Thank you, God, for..." and he would name every member of our family and friends he could think of, and if he missed anyone, I would remind him. We have quite a list going!

This past week, we have begun praying for Katie, the 5-year-old who has cancer that I mentioned in the previous post. You can read about her family's story here. When we started praying for God to heal Katie and make her all better because she is sick, you could see how delighted Jadon was. I assure you, mere words cannot describe it, you'll have to trust me, but he will go on and on about Katie and all of the things he would like God to do for her (assuming Katie would like to go to church and play cars and trucks)...so sweet. Out of the mouths of babes ;)

When I'm praying with him, and now as he is beginning to initiate his own prayers, I can't help but feel that God is listening so intently to the purest, most innocent of hearts. He lights my world.

"How AWESOME is the Lord Most High?"

Christmas Day 2009

After seeing how much fun Jadon and Macy had opening presents and playing with their new toys at Gramma's on Christmas Eve, we were so excited to set everything up for them to find the next morning. We have gone back and forth about the whole "to Santa or not to Santa" thing. We decided (for this year at least...because let's face it, we still have time to change our minds at this age) we would not really mention much about Santa this year, other than at the mall or by singing "Here Comes Santa Claus."

We struggle a little with the whole, "isn't it lying to our kids, yet we don't want them to lie?" Then we watched a Veggie Tales DVD about Saint Nicholas, and thought it helped us come to terms with doing the whole Santa thing. Both Jamie and I both knew from a very young age (like 4 or 5) that Santa was really just our parents, and we both LOVED Christmas without a lot of hoopla over the man in red. Still not sure what will go down next year, but one thing's for sure, Christmas will be a celebration of the birth of our Savior in our home, and I know seeds have been planted in Jadon's heart already to love Jesus.

So this year we started what will our first very own Christmas tradition, a "Happy Birthday, Jesus" party with balloons, decorations, homemade waffles with lots of whipped cream, sprinkles, chocolate chips and candles on top :) Early Christmas morning, while Jamie put the last touches on the decorations, Jadon, Macy and I were in the bedroom with the door closed. I reminded Jadon it was Jesus' birthday, and he started singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus over and over, while Macy bounced up and down and clapped :) These moments are priceless, worth heaps more than any gift we could buy them. I am so excited to share this tradition year after year with our kids, helping them to grow in their love for our Savior.

First things first, there were presents set up all over the living room:

Our one and only big present to Jadon: a huge Mack (Lightning McQueen's truck from the movie "Cars")

It was the theme of the day clearly:

More Cars (who knew there were any he didn't already have??)

A tent for Jadon and Macy from Gramma and Grandpa

She loves cars too :)

The track from Uncle Allen & Auntie Lily set up Christmas morning

Macy's one and only gift from us: Fisher Price Sillytown

She LOVED it, and was soooo excited, when she heard the music :D

Gramma and Grandpa came over for a bit

Then we had our "Happy Birthday, Jesus" party!

Jadon's favorite for any meal, homemade waffles (the toppings were the real treat) :)

His eyes were HUGE, when he saw the mound of whipped cream we were allowing him haha :P

Baby Bleu loves waffles too

She filled up on the whipped cream first though :P

He finished every bite of that plate and then asked for more haha

Playing together in the tunnel

Macy's 1st real baby doll from Gramma

We named her Lacy Lou

and think they kind of look alike. Grandpa says they can share clothes ;)

She was so loving toward her baby :)

Kisses

and hugs

and a bear hug?

I'm so in love with this little girl!

Worn out from all of the playing and waffles!

Macy's Sillytown

Jadon not wanting to take a pic with his Geotrax

"Okay, but just one."

Then he started to get upset with me (I'm a bad Mommy, I know) :/

and had is one and only meltdown of the morning...would it have been complete without one??

Happy birthday, Jesus! Thank you for all of the wonderful, amazing gifts of love and joy you bring to our family each day!

Sticky Kisses

How sweet was yesterday's HIGH?

Oh, how I love my babies! And how they love sharing candy canes with (an unshaven) Daddy :) That's Macy in the side pics and Jadon in the top/bottom. They look so much alike at times!

I refuse to allow yesterdays low to be labeled as such...we'll just call it a slight disappointment ;) When Jamie ran out to the post office to mail off some Christmas cards and a gift to an unsuspecting, non-Christian friend (and I say this because we were Soooo excited to send this uplifting present to her and her son), Jamie lost a $100 gift card to Kroger that we had been given just last week :( :( :( I know, right??? Bummer! Yes, he re-traced all of his steps. Yes, we searched the car, his pockets, and called every place he had been (the bank and post office), but no luck.

I think when he called to tell me, he assumed I was going to be really upset. It only took me about .5 seconds to think, "You know what, who cares? If it is, it is. We didn't have that money a few days ago. It's not ours anyway. Even the money we have isn't ours...it's God's. If He wants us to have that gift card back, we'll find it. We are well cared for, despite having little by the world's standards. We are healthy and have each other and our babies...and the list goes on." Next. What else ya got for me, satan? I promise you, with the Holy Spirit that dwells within me, you will never break me. I am the Lord's and the Lord is mine. He alone is my joy and you can never take Him away. Thank you, Jesus, for that! Amen?

Tis the Season

I almost never read the paper or watch the local news. Too much negativity most of the time, ya know? I'm a mom. I worry enough. Last week, somehow I randomly saw a costume contest sponsored by our local paper, The Sun News. I thought, "Well that would be cool to win some tickets to the movies," so I entered a pic of Jadon and one of Macy. Soon after, I realized I just pitted my kids against each other. Duh!

***SIDE NOTE: I am NOT a pagaent mom! Just wanted to remind everyone of that :) ***end of side note.

The voting didn't start for a few days, after I entered the pics, so honestly, I completely forgot about voting. Ah well. I went to the site and quickly realized this contest was really a bust. I mean, many kids had and still do today have ZERO votes...ummm...Macy would be one of those lol :P I'm assuming lots of other people forgot they entered this thing too, not that they are so humble they will not even vote once for their own child.

Anyway, I voted for Jadon, then realized the system only allows one vote/day/computer. Again, perfectly fine. I'm going to make another assumption that some parents have really promoted this to their friends and family. Who can blame them? C'mon we all love our kids, and think they are the cutest and think it would be nice if they won a prize. Well, I forgot to vote on a few days. Oops. Then I forgot to mention it to any of my friends or family. Oops again. So, as of today, Jadon has 4 or 5 votes and Macy, well, she still has zero. Sorry, kid. I was trying not to cancel out my prior votes.

Whatever. God spoke loud and clear to me to make use of what I have been given to bring glory to Him. "Use your Facebook friends to quickly get the word out and give the prize to a family who, otherwise, could not afford to go to the movies...a family who needs some quality fun time together. Oh yeah, and also a family who could use that $50 at that Surf and whatever place to buy some gifts for their kids too."

"Yessir. Got it. Will do."

So here is the link: VOTE HERE :)

Once you're there, click on "Best Kid Costume," then go to "page 4," and find our little ninja, vote and save. Go back again everyday, until Friday. Pass it on to friends, if you're feeling really spunky ;)

If you know a family in need in the MB area who could use a family night and some extra $$$ for Christmas for their kiddos, leave me a comment or shoot me an email, preferably thru FB. God already knows who they are, and if I'm going to be used to bless them. Maybe He would like to use you to help me help them :)

You Are Mine

There is nothing special about the video below. It won't make you laugh. There is no milestone to be documented from it. No cute sibling interaction was caught on tape.

There are moments in parenthood, thus far (I'm clearly only 2.4 years into this journey), that have taught me so very much about my relationship with my Heavenly Father. There are moments that are so sweet, you really can't even put words to them, moments that make your heart swell and lift your eyes toward the sky. You know them only as a mother or father to YOUR child.

I understand that many of you will watch this video and think, "So what?" Some of you won't even make it through the entire thing because it's more than 30 seconds, and as I said, it really isn't that interesting...unless you are Jadon's Mama or Daddy (in this case, his Mama).

The other night, it was pretty late, and though Jadon had been tucked in bed for nearly 30 minutes, he was still awake in the dark talking, talking, talking away to himself. I went in to check on him and he said in his adorable, toddler-size voice, "Hi, Mama." I turned the bathroom light on, so I could see his sweet face, then knelt beside him to take in the blessing that is my son.

Just barely 29-months-old, yet used by God an infinite number of times to teach me about real, unconditional, agape love. It wasn't the words he was saying or even how he was saying them. It was more than the look of innocence in his big, golden brown eyes. It was the gift of him. The gift, after five miscarriages, countless tears, much heartache, the struggle to reconciliation that I may never carry and give birth to my own biological child...I may never feel a baby kick me from the inside or look into the eyes of my breastfeeding baby.

I was silenced by God to be still. "Take it all in," He said. THIS moment, these moments, this life, these beautiful babies...they are mine because I was chosen. Psalm 127:3 tells me that Jadon and Macy are "gifts from the Lord," and I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are, and I take my role as their Mama very seriously. It is the most important ministry I will ever be called to lead.

And so here he is rambling, rambling, rambling about the pumpkins and the bale of hay that was painted like a spider that scared him. Of course, he tells the story as if Macy were the main character haha, but he's learning to be comforting, which is so sweet to see :)

At that moment, as I took in all that had been given to me in the form of a little boy who calls me "Mama," I felt as if I wanted to press the huge pause button on this journey of life. I felt like I just couldn't take it all in, that time was in fast forward, and my babies growing up entirely too fast. You know the struggle. Every parent feels it. I thought, " I want to pick you up, carry you (and Macy) away to an island with all of your favorite things, and have you all to myself forever."

And then I heard God say to me, "That is EXACTLY how I feel about you, my child. You are mine. I long to have you all to myself...for you to desire nothing more than to be in relationship with me." That is where I find my greatest joy, Father...experiencing your love for me, through the gifts of my children. I am Yours.

Down to Sleep

As always, our babies want most to play with each other's toys. We bought Macy a Glow Worm, but she really doesn't get to hold it near as much as Jadon does. He's added it to his collection of 15 or so other stuffed animals that he takes with him to nap- and bedtimes.



Since the last prayer video was cut short by a low battery, here's an updated clip, though for some reason, he skipped the middle of the prayer this time...he likes to jump right into the "Thank you God for" part :) I especially love that he thanks God for "cars and movie cars" separately and also "Kuya Justin" and "Kuya," as if they are separate people. Haha :P (*If you don't hear your name, chances are he said it after the camera stopped or the night before or will mention you tonight. He rarely forgets anyone!)

Proverbs 22:6

Before he is able to say all of the words correctly, I wanted to get a clip of Jadon saying his nightly prayers. After saying a very basic prayer, asking God for His provision and guidance, we then give thanks for the people He has placed in our lives who we love so much. Sadly, my camera battery died, or I assure you that you would have heard your name...whoever you are who read this. Jadon's really thankful for A LOT of people...and apparently "the grass." :) We'll try to get the rest of his list on video very soon.

Oh yeah, and Tatay, Jadon would like to see you. After saying your name, you'll see him think intently about where you've been lately. We love and miss you!

The Truths about Mommyhood

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Nick @ Night

Our church has the most awesome ministry for kids in the summer. It is called Nick @ Night and is held every Wednesday evening in June. Last week, there were over 600 kids from our community there! What a great outreach ministry, right? First there is a time of worship:

Then they head outside to the field to play games and get messy! We didn't stick around for the whole thing because Jadon won't be old enough to participate until next year next year, and Baby Bleu was sweating so much from the heat. But it is so nice that the county Fire Dept. comes and makes it rain on the entire field of kids and volunteers...so fun! And there is watermelon smashing and whipped cream pies to the face...even the pastor gets messy. We really do have a great church with so many activities and sports for kids. Love it!

Here's Jadon getting his own personal tour of the fire truck:

He was so happy, which makes Mommy happy :)