We laughed about how much more difficult our lives are about to become. We are SO EXCITED to meet Macy, yet so unsure of how to really prepare for all of the changes her birth will bring to everyone and everything we do...even little things, like going to the grocery store, will become ever-the-challenge. Two grocery carts? Every stinkin' time we shop? Yeah, that'll be a change for sure. We kind of have the art of packing Jadon and his things down to a science...FINALLY...and now we will have to coordinate two of everything (diaper bags, diapers, snacks/breastfeeding stuff, etc.). Two car seats! A double stroller! Oh my! Millions and millions of families do it everyday, so I'm sure we will adjust. I suppose we are just wondering about all of the things you can't really predict, like if Macy will cry in the car a lot or if Jadon will find something in the backseat to throw at her. Will he be jealous, etc.?
All in all, we are anxiously anticipating everything that will come along with having another baby. Especially now that we got a movie at the theaters in, we're more than ready. I will say that both Jamie and I shared an experience at the movie that neither of us expected. ***DO NOT READ, if you plan to see Gran Torino, as this next part may ruin some of the movie for you...okay? You've been warned!***
There is a part in the movie where the young girl who lives next door to Clint Eastwood is raped and beaten by a gang. HORRIBLE!!! I was an emotional mess inside for the remainder of the movie! I held back all of my tears because (1) I was in a public place...and it's a movie for goodness sake! and (2) I knew my Mama Bear instinct for Macy had finally arrived in a big way! The pregnancy hormones were getting the best of me, yes, but also it is an emotion that will never really leave, now that it has arrived...EXACTLY like the one I have for Jadon. That girl in the movie was Macy for me. I have NEVER connected to a girl in a movie like that...in a motherly way...EVER before. It sank in that I am having a daughter, and I will kill to protect her. Sounds a bit insane, I know, but not to anyone who has kids (and, I'm assuming, especially a daughter).
Of course, I've known for quite sometime that Macy is a girl, that I'm pregnant and set to give birth on or around January 31, 2009. I will become a mother of two, and Jadon will have a baby sister. I have been careful not to expose myself to bad things, during my pregnancy (no more than one cup of coffee/day, etc.). I have rested appropriately. I have not lifted anything too heavy (other than Jadon). I have responsibly taken my prenatal vitamin and DHA supplement everyday. You get the picture. I am and have been connected to this baby from day one. Something changed for me, during that scene of that movie though, and when I asked Jamie afterwards what he thought of during that part, he said he experienced the same thing.
There is no emotion like it...not even close. I would appear completely insane, if I were to go into any detail about it, but as I sat outside yesterday, enjoying the weather, sushi, and the company of my best friend and husband...as I looked out at the setting sun with the birds flying peacefully overhead...as I saw the calm waters of the pond in the park across the way...the Lord revealed His neverending love for his children (me included) once again. He loves and cares for me (and each of us) the same way that Jamie and I do for Macy...and Jadon...and Justin. What a tremendous responsibility we have as parents! What an awesome gift to be chosen by God to help raise these little miracles! I stand in awe of you, Father. I ask for your grace, peace, guidance, knowledge...your mercy on us, as we embark on this next phase of our lives. Without You, we would surely be lost. Thank you for trusting us. Amen.
Luke 15:1-10
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