Week 38: "...a baby by lunchtime."

We had another doctor's appointment on Wednesday, and well, obviously it wasn't time to have a baby. The only thing my midwife said is that (TMI) my cervix is "very, very soft." She said if they "(PIT)ted you (gave me pitocin/induced me) in the morning, you'd likely have a baby by lunchtime...that's how soft your cervix is." Hmmm. So that brought us to our next conversation about me possibly being induced. I have what is supposed to be my final appointment this coming Friday (January 30th). If we decide to go with an induction, she said to call and re-schedule for Wednesday or Thursday, and I could have the baby whatever day I choose.

I REALLY don't want to be induced :/ Even more, I REALLY don't want to choose Macy's birthday. That's so odd to me. I know millions of women do it all of the time, but to me, it's messing with the whole Psalm 139:16 verse:

"...your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."

I know we can argue this point, but it really does seem weird to me to choose the day...way to much control over Macy's life for me. It's kind of like reverse euthanasia or something to me. I don't want to play God or Dr. Jack Kevorkian.

So anyway, that's where we stand right now. Alhtough I'd LOVE to have our little girl here in our arms, rather than in my belly (I mean, it's just not fair to Jamie...I mean me fair to me...at this point), I think we'll hold out until our appt. this coming Friday and see what happens. Last night, I did start to feel a lot of pressure and some very, very minor cramping, which excited me, but also scared me a little too.

Am I, are we, really ready for this? Not that we have a choice, and of course, we are so excited to have another baby...but do we have a clue how to balance two babies under two? Of course we don't! We're still winging it with Jadon sometimes. I mean, who would have thought he would tear tiny pieces of paper out of his lift-and-flap book the other day and put the paper in his ear??? And for whatever reason these last few weeks, he decided it would be super fun to dump potting soil from our plants in the foyer onto the floor...like every hour or so. And can someone tell me (other than the obvious brushing!) how to get rid of cat food-scented, toddler breath? Yucky!

Ah parenthood. You really have to laugh at the things you deal with as a parent that you never thought of when you were in your 20s, running around the mall, shopping at American Eagle and Abercrombie, grabbing a Starbucks on your way to work, going to the gym afterwards, hanging out having lots of adult conversations with other people who didn't have kids...good times, I tell ya! But you know what is better and even more fun than all of those things...and has a whole lot more meaning? Sitting here blogging about being pregnant with a baby girl, while my 19-month-old baby boy with fishy toddler breath lays his head on my chest, yawning and watching his Baby Einstein video, while my husband prepares yet another thing to take to the hospital (our video camera), so we don't miss one second of the BEST years of our lives :)