Me, Today

Today begins the 33rd year of my life. There is significance in being this age. My perspective this year is different than others. My Jesus was said to have lived a short 33 years. My uncle Chuck, my mom's older brother, passed away from cancer in our home under the care of Hospice at this, now my age. My mom met and then married my stepdad, Jadon and Macy's grandpa, when she was 33. I think I thought they were old then. Funny how I don't want to think of them as old now. Life has taught me that I will be 53, before I know it.

I realize even more now what a young man my uncle Chuck was, when he left behind his two kids. I get the tears and the struggle to hang on for them, the desire to live and watch them grow. How sad. I get it. I really, really get it. Life is sooo very short. I want my days to have more meaning. What if today were my last day, this year my last year?

Now that I am 33, I realize just how short my Jesus' time on earth was. Clearly I will never have the impact on the world that He had. Clearly I am called to impact the world for Him. What if I only have today? What if I only have this year?

Today begins a new chapter. I want a life lived not for myself, not just for my kids, but a life that will outlive me. I want to be a better wife, a better mama, a better daughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend. Above all else, I want to be a better servant of Christ.

Don't get me wrong. I will likely care for my kids more than I do other peoples' kids. They live in my home. They came from my womb. They are mine. I will likely spend more time with my friends and family than strangers. I will probably buy more things for them than anyone else too.

Let's also not forget the fact that I love to travel. I love Starbucks. I love sushi and Whole Foods Market. I'm also going to be living in a city with a Cheesecake Factory in a few months, okay? ;)

I need not mention how much I love taking pictures again either, right? I'll probably invest in another piece of equipment sometime this, my 33rd year. You'll likely see a thousand or so pictures of MY kids and MY family or MY friends on my website or on here and probably on my Facebook page too.

But here's the real deal---I love Jesus above all else! I want EVERYTHING I do to exude Him. If you see me grabbing a Starbucks, KNOW I am thanking God for His provision, not just financial, but that He gave me a loving, supportive husband to share that with. If I have the ability to travel this year, KNOW that I am marveling at the beauty God has created all around me. I WILL be taking pictures that I pray will proclaim the glory of His Majesty...have you seen the ocean? the mountains? the changing colors of the leaves? the enormous rocks and caves? the endless fields of crops ready for harvesting? In awe!

My goal this year, as I begin the journey of having my own business, is not that it be successful. I have no goal, as far as money I expect or would like to earn. I have no agenda for wedding bookings. I don't ever want to care about the sale of images more than I care about the people in them...and I truly don't. If I don't make another penny this year as a photographer, who cares? I just know God gave me a passion, I get to do it, and I love it!

What matters to me most, this 33rd year of my life, is that I glorify my Savior in all I do. Let me be a better wife because I am thankful for a God-fearing, God-serving husband. Let me be a better mama because He entrusted these sweet blessings into my care. I am called to train them in the way they should go. I am called to impact their lives everyday, so that they may know Jesus as their Lord and Savior and place Him above all else. No small task here!

I vow this year to give, give, give and then give some more. My gift of photography will be used to document those who need a voice and to celebrate the works God is doing in the world, in families, in the lives of those who love Him. I surrender my lens to the Lord, so that He may tell the stories He chooses. I pray I never get in His way.

This year and all others that follow, I vow to "delight myself in the Lord." He promises if I do that, He will give me "the desires of my heart." You are the desire of my heart, Lord. You alone. This year is for you, my Jesus.

Thank you for my husband. Thank you for my babies. Thank you for my passion and gift of snapping images and telling stories. Thank you for my loving, supportive family...the one into which I was born, and the one into which I married. I don't deserve any of it, and will do my best to thank you for it all, in service to You.

I am 33 and counting...33 and making it count.